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Lesbian Dating 2007
by Dating Queen
Ok, so I know that lesbians get a bad rep with the whole U-Haul thing.  I've known lots of lesbians that do the U-Haul thing  so I guess "we" deserve the label.  I also know people that do the U-Haul on both ends,they dive in too quick and then run like hell when they figure out they made a mistake.  So it really should be U-Haul squared.  I guess the old fashioned straight method of dating or courting got bypassed in the queer world. The boys go straight to fucking, the lesbians well, if it ain't the U-Haul, it's the "friends thing".
 
No one talks about the "friends" thing.  Lesbians like to be "friends".  When they break up, they want to be "friends".  If they think they want to date you but for whatever reason can't, they want to be "friends first".  When they don't want to date you at all, they say want to be "friends" because they don't have the balls to say anything else. 
 
Or my personal favourite, and I'm batting a thousand on this one is: "I really need to be alone to process my last relationship". What the hell does that mean?  Are you writing it all out and putting in your food processor or blender equivalent?  Is it like paperwork that once you finally get through, you get to put a rubber stamp on it and then you're done?  I did the office thing.  There's always another pile of paperwork waiting.  We're never done processing our lives.  Well, at least those of us who are alert and awake keep on processing and learning.  What I don't get is why women need to stop their lives to analyze their past to death before moving on.  Whatever happened to just dating.  Have we lost the fine art or, did we never learn it or, did we reject it because it was a "straight" thing. At least the hets have a system and some rules.  It makes things simple.  Two people meet.  They give signals of interest. Boy asks girl out.  Boy wants sex before girl does.  Eventually after undisclosed number of dates, they have sex.  Girl thinks she's in a "relationship" now, boy still thinks he's "dating"..and on it goes. I knew we needed help when I had to call a straight guy friend of mine on dating advice. I'm not sure what the answer is for our community but I'd like to propose some Lesbian Dating Guidelines because I'm frustrated as hell.  So here's my go at it:
  •  If someone asks you out on a date, it doesn't mean they want to fuck you or marry you or move in.  It means they are interested in spending some time with you so that they can get to know you.  One date at a time.
  • If someone asks you out on a 2nd  or 3rd date, it doesn't' mean they want to fuck you or marry you or move in.  It means, they had a good time on the last date and would like to learn more about you, one date at a time
  •  If they kiss you goodnight, it doesn't mean they want to fuck you or marry you or move in.  It means that they're attracted to you and want to get a sense of whether you have some chemistry together and frankly, how well you kiss.  If the kiss sucks, so will the sex so get out quick.
  •  If you want to fuck, tell them you want to fuck.
  •  If you have sex, it doesn't mean they want to marry you or move in or even that you are in a "relationship".  It means whatever the two of you decide it means.  Assuming of course you will talk about it.
  •  If you don't want to date, tell people you don't want to date. Lets drop this "lets be friends but I'll never call you" crap.
  •  If you really don't think you should be dating, then don't date.  But don't be the lesbian equivalent of a "cock tease".  If you can't follow through on your flirting, then keep it check when out and about and invest in a good vibrator until you are ready to take it seriously.
  •  As a general rule, and this applies in aquatics as well, don't dive in until you know what's under the water (thus avoiding the U-Haul jokes)
  •  If you really want to take your time getting to know someone before you sleep with them, then tell them that but have an open and honest conversation about what that means and what kind of physical contact there may be along the way.  At least drop a carrot or two along the way. Dating was not meant to devoid of physical contact.  That's celibacy and belongs in the land of "non-dating".
And finally, lets stop processing everything to death and get on with living.  If we weren't so afraid of repeating all our last mistakes, we might actually get out there and just have some fun!
 
~ Dating Queen
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